Spare no expense

As a life long outdoorsman and hunter, I have managed to hunt several species of large and small game in various parts of the world. Most hunts result in great companionship, the opportunity to see some of the more beautiful and/or desolate parts of the world, and usually the chance to harvest some wild game. As I have done this over the years I have usually shot only animals that I would be willing to eat, although there have been a few exceptions to that rule. The badger I shot in South Dakota is an example of this.

I normally enjoy the meat much more than my family, although most of them have eaten their share of venison, elk, caribou, pheasant and quail. Unfortunately, at the beginning of the next hunting season, there is still more wild game in the freezer than has been consumed. Which brings me to the point of all this. I spend a great deal of time and go to a lot of effort to bag this game, and my family doesn't appreciate the value of what it is I have been doing.

I discovered this early on in my marriage. Nancy and I had been married about a year when her uncle, Beech Adams, invited me to come to Idaho with him for the pheasant hunt. I eagerly accepted. I bought ammunition, out of state hunting licenses, travelled to and from Burley, Idaho, paid for hotels, food and gas. The resulting expense was about $150.00. This was a goodly sum for two full time college students. I was able to bring home six pheasants from the trip, which was the possession limit at that time. Rather than being excited about the fresh meat for the table, Nancy sat down with her calculator and determined that these birds cost about $17.00 per pound. It left a bad taste in her mouth and ruined the meal.

This has gone on over the years. We have fish that cost $30.00 per pound, elk that cost $15.00 per pound, South Dakota pheasant that cost $60.00 per pound. ( The cost of the house, and travel to SD escalate the cost considerably. I am not even including the Mexican doves, ducks and geese, that I don't bring home, but give to my guide and people in the village where we hunt.

You would think that if I am going to the effort of providing all of this high priced meat, my wife and family would at least show some appreciation.

These efforts aren't limited to my hunting trips. Last week was Thanksgiving and I decided to provide my family with a treat by smoking a turkey as part of our Thanksgiving dinner. We purchased a 12 pound turkey for me to put in my smoker. It only cost a few bucks because of the promotion at our local Ralph's grocery store. I bought some hickory chips, prepared some spices for a rub, and got up early Thursday morning to prepare the turkey and the smoker. It was then that I discovered that I no longer had a propane tank. It must have been given away as we moved to San Clemente. Off to Lowe's to purchase a tank with propane in it. I hooked up the propane tank to my smoker, placed the marinade and wood chips in the smoker, placed the turkey in it and fired up the smoker.

Twenty minutes later, the temperature had barely risen in the smoker. I adjusted the air valve on the smoker and within a few seconds my smoker burst into flames. After hurriedly turning off the propane I discovered that my propane hose had a leak in it. No problem. I taped it with duct tape and fired it up again. More flames, combined with the smell of burning duct tape. My only recourse was to race off to Walmart and buy a new smoker. Steve Wright and I put it together within about 45 minutes and I was able to get the turkey in it and got it cooked in time for dinner. Luckily we started dinner about 45 minutes later than we had planned it.

Cost of Turkey $8.00

Cost of Mesquite Chips $8.50

Cost of Propane Tank $51.00

Cost of New Smoker $150.81

Total Cost per Pound $18.19

Look of appreciation on my families faces: Priceless